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Michael Moore.

"....He looked really angry and miserable. Also, his posture is terrible. Now, I'm not a doctor and have no qualifications in the field of physical therapy, but even I can see that he needs to stand up straight, smile a little more, and quit being quite so annoyed at Mr. Bush."

Although Cash's book signing was popular, Moore's went around the block. He was at the Warner Books booth while Cash was stuck downstairs in the basement. "It was a miracle anyone found me at all," Cash said afterwards. The event was made worse by the fact that Cash also has a book published currently by Warners, but when he went up to their booth and reminded them of this the company's representatives had never heard of him. Anyway, Cash was shocked at how angry Moore looked. "If I'd just won an Oscar and been booed by the audience at the ceremony, I'd be feeling pretty upbeat right now," Peters chuckled. In the end, though, the book signing for Gullible's Travels was hugely successful. Fans showed up for a laugh and a chat and the publishers ran right out of books, which must tell you something. Perhaps that they should have brought more books.

Radke's Rewind Apology.

....decided to forgive the guy. Radke's email went on, "Contrary to your insistences, you were one of my favorite guests. (How many times did we tell you that?) A few months ago, Rewind ended national production for lack of money. I sent an email to several of our regular guests describing Rewind's demise, but apparently I didn't include you on the list, for which I'm dismayed, chagrined...and sorry." And later he adds, "I want you to know that you weren't dumped; we were...I miss our chats and wish you the best."

The email was received in response to the Rewind page on cashpeters.com in which Cash Peters lays out his take on the whole being-axed-from-the-show fiasco. But all of this has been squared now and the page will shortly be deleted from the site as a sign of goodwill to Bill, who genuinely is one of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet, but probably never will.

Ordinary guy who thought he was a better broadcaster than Cash Peters turns out not to be - shocker.

It was ridiculous really. Some listener heard Cash's report from The Museum of Feet in Chicago and decided that it wasn't funny. Not funny at all. And that he could do better. So he pestered the producers of the show until they called his bluff and allowed him to do his own report, which was about Florida. The result was then played head to head on The Savvy Traveler where the presenter made a 'bit' out of it - "Is this guy better than Cash? You decide." Behind the scenes, staff members were saying, "Hm, the guy's okay, but the piece is soooo NPR!" Dull and formulaic, in other words. After it was broadcast, the show received numerous emails insisting that the listener never be allowed back on the air. "All this proves," one email said. "is that being a humorist is more difficult than it sounds. This guy should not give up his day job. Cash rules." Asked for comment, Cash Peters said he was unaware of the competition until afterwards and even then he didn't really care. "I'm not in a contest with anyone. If the guy's good, let him do reports; if he's not, kick him off the show. There's room for everyone. Now please get your foot out of my door."

New book Love Letters hits stores

"I call it my Little Red Book," says the author. "because it's a book and it's little-read. But that's because it's just been published. In fact, Love Letters is an amazing dating book, and a dream for any woman who's tired of the dating game and finding that her white knight is really just a love rat. When you meet someone for the first time - all you do is make sure you get a hold of their handwriting. Then you compare the writing to samples in the book to find out if he's going to cheat on you, if he's good in bed, if he's sincere or a liar. In fact, it answers dozens of questions that a woman might want to know about a man. Then, once you know this stuff you can either take things further, or dump his ass and go find somebody better. You can also check out your husband - is he seeing someone else on the side? - your friends, and so on...it's amazing."

Report from Luau Generates Record Complaints

A humorous commentary that featured on public radio's Marketplace business show a couple of weeks ago generated a whole slew of complaints from listeners. Some called it 'racist, sexist, and offensive.' The subject of the piece, by Cash Peters, one of Marketplace's top commentators, was The Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii, a 43 acre theme park in which young people dress in grass skirts and carry spears and run around a jungle setting.

Waggish jibes about their traditional native attire and dancing caused listeners to go on the warpath. "But why?" Mr Peters asked, when cashpeters.com contacted him. "I was merely reflecting the tone and general spirit of the place." He absolutely denies that the piece was in any way racist or sexist, as he would never stoop to such things. "I'm horrified by the accusation. The report honestly reflected what happened while I was there. If it was racist or sexist, then that would only mean that the PCC and the many diverse cultures it represents are racist or sexist, which isn't true."

He went on to say that public radio has a duty to push boundaries. "For every one complaint we received, there will have been thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of people who took it for what it was and laughed it off. Furthermore, the following day, I received two emails from the PCC's representatives themselves, saying how much they enjoyed it and that they cried laughing.

"A reporter's duty is to the people he interviews. He must reflect accurately their views and what happened when he met them. Anything else would be hypocrisy. If he is true to them, then it doesn't matter if six million listeners write and complain. That's their problem." He wound up by adding that the media must be the shepherd, not the sheep. "We cannot let listeners dictate what we say or do. Too many Americans get offended on other people's behalf, not because they're necessarily outraged themselves. There's a whole movement in this country toward being upset and angry, hence the number of frivolous lawsuits. Broadcasters should listen to these views, take them into account, and then move on, not arrogantly or smugly, but confidently, following our hearts. Good radio is never achieved by committee, but I..." And then the tape ran out.

Official: Lovely Slot extended to thirty minutes

The BBC's Five Live radio station, which is heard in Britain and across Europe, has decided to extend Cash Peters' My Lovely Slot each week from its original 6-10 minute window to a full half hour, effective immediately. Mr Peters, who was unavailable for comment yesterday, is said to be ecstatic at the move. Frankly, his ego is so large, sources claim, that he can't understand why 50% of the BBC's airtime isn't given over to him.

The Slot, which is very popular with listeners, includes reviews of American television, as well as 'a lot of vacuous camp nonsense about my lovely Hollywood life', Mr Peters said today in a roughly-scribbled note pushed under cashpeters.com's door.

"I'm not entirely sure if Rhod Sharp, the presenter in London, is pleased that I'm on for so long, frankly. He told me he thought that, at six minutes it left listeners wanting for more, whereas at 30 minutes it leaves them begging for a reprieve. I disagree."

The Slot can be heard at an excruciatingly weird time: 3.30 am Wednesday morning in the UK. It can also be heard at 6.30pm Tuesday evening in America by going on the internet on www.bbc.co.uk and navigating your way through the radio networks to Five Live, then the name of the show: 'Up All Night', then 'listen'....and so on and so on.

 

© 2003 Cash Peters. All rights reserved.